Stressin'

Yesterday was one of my "big days".  When I say "big day" it usually means there is lots of stuff written on that day on my calendar.  Usually has more to do with how to fit it all in and accomplish it all than what it is.  Yesterday was going to be a race with the clock for a majority of the day.  I was feeling really stressed about it the day/night before.  I decided that I needed to evaluate how stressful the day was really going to be.  What was I doing? and how important was each thing? was there anything I could eliminate? and what could I do to make it run smoothly?  Here's how my day was going to have to go to work out just right:

5:00 wake up, work out
6:45 take Nate to work
get the big kids ready for school, and the little ones ready for the store
8:35 drive kids to school
shopping for things for Charity's class party, and Jarom's present
10:40 pick up Luke and Carter from School take Carter home
11:00 go get Brad's lunch
11:20 Brad's Birthday Table
11:55 Home
12:20 Go to the school again for Charity's Class No-Missing-Work Party
1:00 Home
This was the relaxing time until 2:00 when the kids would get home.
3:00 pick up Nate
3:30 drive up to Kaysville to judge reflections
5:00 dinner- somehow

Even as I was driving Nate to work and trying to let off a little of the pressure, talking about it, I kept thinking what a silly day it was to get stressed about.  Especially compared to Nate's day.  Nate would have hundreds of people's lives in his hands at any given moment and every word he would say would be recorded, scrutinized and critiqued.  He would only get a break when someone else decided it was time.  He would have so much pressure and stress.  WAY more than I could even imagine possible given my lifestyle.  It hit me that I needed to just relax.  Not let things bother me and treat this like any other day.  And it worked for the whole morning!  I was so proud of myself.  I didn't let the little hang ups hang me up.  We were even on time (barely of course) for school.  So really, it went well. 

But as I was scrambling to go pick up Bradley's lunch, because Luke and Carter had taken so long, I was running late, I started thinking about why I was so flustered.  Nothing I had to do was really that big by itself, nothing took much preparation.  Then the thing that hit me was that it was all stuff that mattered to my kids.  I knew Noah would want to test out every single toy in the toy section, and feel like he had browsed sufficiently and could make that life or death decision for the perfect gift.  I knew that it was important to Brad that I get to his school on time so that he wouldn't have to sit and wonder if I was coming.  I knew that if Charity's Mom was doing a party for her class it needed to be a fun one, and I needed to be cool and calm so that she wouldn't be embarrassed.  Which meant being prepared and on time as well.  It was their sweet little expectations that had me reeling. I smiled when I realized how wrapped around their little fingers I am :)  In a good way.  I've made the little things as important as they do.  I decided to cut myself a little slack.  It wasn't air traffic control, but in my little world, being on time to pick up from school, birthday presents, lunch at school, being on time for school, and class Minute-to-Win-it games.... these are BIG things!  They matter!  To important little people!!  And now, to me.
Bottom line.  I want to control the stress level, but not by belittling the things that I need to do.  And not by eliminating things that matter to my kids.  I think this helps me to keep a better perspective.  It also helps me to feel like the little things I do everyday really are important.  I am doing a great work here.  I don't have a dress code, a time card or even a paycheck, but I do have a boss.  Someone is looking over my shoulder.  Watching what I do with my day, what things I prioritize.  He is all-knowing, all-loving, and all-powerful.  So yeah, that can be a little stressful.  But there are so many opportunities to pray to him for help, to be guided by His Spirit and to be blessed by his unconditional love and care.  I will do whatever I can to please my "boss" and show Him that I am worthy of these priceless little Spirits and the responsibilities that come with them.  I want him to see that I am working my hardest.  I want him to know that I am putting forth an honest effort.  I put my kids first, before ANYTHING, and I want them to be happy.  And that must be a good thing.  I'm so grateful for the life I live.  For "my little world".  Now I just need to translate all of this into some relaxation techniques.... and just enjoy it all :).