If you haven't already

I really love the new design for blogger... ya know how it keeps suggesting the idea to switch.... I fully recommend it!!  It was a little tricky for me because I didn't realize I could just change to a 3 column background until after a lot of fidgeting, but you should do it!!  Look how big you can get your pictures to be!!!  I love that!

Erika and her BFF

Stephanie and I kept talking about taking these of our two girls, kept planning and replanning, and finally our plans worked (even if it was a total surprise to me.... I'm really forgetful these days).... so Tuesday morning we went to Rocket Park and got these.  I think we're going to do some more another time since Erika was a pill the entire time, but I thought that some of these were cute enough to share. 

Sophie and her Daddy

oh, apparently I put some others on here.... these were supposed to be in the random pictures post.... oh well.  Random!

Erika: Ew, Sophie, you've got something in your ear?
Sophie: What? What is it? Can you get it out!?

Swimming "for fun" as the kids call it..... since swimming lessons aren't "for fun" :) HA! And Nate's sunset.

On Monday, as planned (thank you very much, I did actually plan something!) we went swimming!  We killed the hour and a half after lessons and then went back to the pool to swim.  We were a little early so we got a really great spot, took a picture :) and then just played our hearts out for 3 hours!  It was a good thing Sarah showed up, it would have been a lot more work for me and probably not as fun for the girls if she hadn't been there to take them on the slide and stuff.  She's such a fun Aunt!  Erika had a pretty good time.  She got fussy halfway through, ate, took a nap in the stroller, and then played some more.  It was a pretty fun time.  I think we might do it again sometime.... probably not real soon :) but definitely again.  Possibly with Nate :)  I like doing the things that the kids think of though, and this one was their idea.  They had been eyeballing the cute little wading pool for.... well.... ever since we moved here!  And wishing they could swim in it.  It's funny that they prefer the indoor pool afterall though :) Good times. 

Nate took Erika out with him to look at the sunset and get pictures, and this is the funny one he got of her :)  He says that the stick wasn't actually up her nose, it was just near it, but still!  Funny stuff!

Father's are so special!

We tried to spoil Nate again for Father's Day this year.  Hopefully he felt our love and knows how much we appreciate him.  He really is an amazing Dad and I don't think there's much we can do to compare to what he does for us each and every day. 

The kids get really excited for Father's Day.  We went shopping a few days early since we had all the funeral stuff for my Grandpa the two days before.  My kids are so funny when they're shopping for gifts.  You've got the ones (and it's not always the same ones) who know EXACTLY what they're going to get and won't budge no matter how rediculous or expensive their idea is, and then you've got the ones who will walk in the store and just grab the first thing they see :)  and decide that's what Daddy's always wanted.  They're fun.  I have really loved letting the kids pick out their gifts for their Dad themselves and each of them choosing their own special one.  It makes it so much more meaningful!  The kids did this for me this year too, and I LOVED the thought, so I knew that was what I wanted to do again for Father's Day.  So Kelly had her idea a week and a half before we offically started shopping for Father's Day.  She knew EXACTLY what she wanted.  She had teh idea all on her own and didn't let anything change her mind.  She picked out one of the pictures I took of the temple, we printed it off and she drew pictures of she and Nate and I, taped them to the picture, and then we bought a nice frame for it.  It really is adorable, I still need to get a picture of it.  Nate loved it I'm sure.  And Kelly is very proud. Charity knew way ahead of time that she wanted to get Nate a basketball.  Such a good idea because oddly enough, no matter how many we've gotten him in the past, he didn't have one.  On our way to the Sports store for Charity's basketball, Brad was still unsure of what he wanted to get, so we started naming off things that were there, he immediately latched on to the idea of getting him a fishing pole.  And again, crazy as it is, Nate only has one (since we left them in AK) so that was a perfect idea too!  Luke being the adorable little kid that he is found a bouncy ball at the Sports store, just in one of those bins, and couldn't put it down.  So that was going to be Daddy's present :)  We found out later that it can bounce up to 75 feet though, so it's actually pretty cool too!  Luke's pretty well known for choosing something that he will benefit from :)  I think it's adorable.  At Walmart we were trying to decide what Noah and Erika could get him, I was naming things off and Noah liked the Swim suit idea, so he ran over and picked out a very green one :)  He carried it through the store, and was very excited.  From Erika we all picked out a paper shredder that Nate's always wanted and decided he would get that.  So, pretty random, but I think he got some pretty good presents.  Which we showered him with after serving him breakfast (REALLY YUMMY breakfast with bacon and eggs and sausage....mmmmmmmmm) in bed.  We have a few traditions in our family and this is one that I hope will never die out.  HOpefully the kids can kinda take over on their own a little more as the years go, but I LOVE it!!  And actually, it's nice for me to be able to spoil Nate, and show him my thanks as well.  Just because he's not my Dad doesn't mean I don't want to celebrate him on Father's Day.  The rest of the day was pretty normal.  I had to play in Primary, so Nate had Erika and I think her real present was how good she was during it!  She actually just sat in his lap, and even fell asleep.  SO unlike her.  The kids made little M&M bow ties and sang in Sacrament meeting.  We had spent the entire day driving the day before, so Nate didn't want to do anymore driving.  He called his dad and we spent the rest of the evening here.  We were able to sing our kiss song for the Dads (Nate, Grandpa and Uncle Brent). I'm sure they all just love getting pelted with hershey kisses :)  It was a nice day.  I hope Nate felt the love.

Nate took these of Kelly in the morning.... they're really cute and he liked them, so I thought they belonged in the book :)

I took these of the girls.... couldn't pick just one....

Here's everyone getting ready to sing

I think this picture says it all.... poor Noah got hurt so Nate's protecting him, Brent's flinching and Grandpa is getting it all on video.

While we were all sitting around watching old Home videos, we saw the crimped hair that Heidi and I had when we were little and the girls wanted to do their hair like that, so we busted out the old purple crimper and crimped their hair.  I gotta hand it to my mom, she did that hairdo WAY more than I would have.  It's SO TIME CONSUMING!!!  Besides the fact that it's really not worth how it looks :)  The girls looked cute though :) And they were happy with it.

Happy Father's Day!

Things to Remember

1. I was reminded in a Priesthood Blessing recently that I am only borrowing these children. That they are the Lord's and how they turn out is my responsibility, but that they are not MINE. It was an interesting reminder. I guess I've always known that, but it sure changed how I look at them. They are so sweet, so precious, and the time we have with them really is short. And we only have so much time to plant those seeds. I hope I am doing okay with my borrowed children. I hope I am able to prove to the Lord that it was a good thing to send them to me. And I hope, most of all, that they turn out to be good, upstanding people who look to the Lord in all they do.

2.  The girls made breakfast this week.  French Toast.  All by themselves!  What a huge help that was.

3.  On Tuesday, 6-22-10, Nate played basketball with the kids when he got home.  They are so lucky to have such an awesome, fun Dad.  I love that Nate will go out and do things like that with them.  It's hard for me to get up the motivation knowing I will have to quit a few seconds later to take care of a crying baby.  I do miss out on a little, but luckily Nate's there to make it fun for them.

4.  This morning when I was trying to "snooze" after my alarm had gone off a few times, I finally got up because in between each alarm, about every 2 minutes, I kept hearing, "Mommy, I ink weewy bad!".  Noah's so adorable.  He took a shower with me and we totally hung out all morning before the rest of the kids got up :)  It was fun.

5. Yesterday, 6-24-10, Kelly was still feeling sick and her ear had started hurting, so on the way to swimming lessons I called and made her an appointment.  Swimming lessons are at 10:00 and last 25 minutes.  The appt. was scheduled for 11:20.  In my head I'm thinking, 'okay, I've got 55 minutes to get them all home, showered, and then dressed again to go to the dr...... can I do it?'  Well, I was a little nervous to try.  And I didn't actually even bother with the boys simply because they can fake 'clean' better than the girls (it's really just the hair I guess).  Anyway, I got all the kids home, unloaded, girls showered, boys dressed, and Erika fed, then loaded back in the car, and to the Dr.'s office, and we still had 5 minutes to spare!!  Pretty amazing huh!  Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself.

Goodbye Grandpa

So Grandpa did it.  He decided to get mad and leave.  No, sorry, I'm kidding.  That's something he used to say whenever you would start getting up to leave... "ya gonna get mad and leave?"  It's so weird that he's gone.  I don't have any more grandparents here.... in person.... makes me tear up just thinking about it.  Grandpa was an AMAZING man though.  And just like Bishop Bangerter said, we really are "lucky to be a part of his legacy."  I will miss him, his wisdom, his jokes, his voice, his support, his encouragement, compliments, his constant interest in my life, and of course, his love.  I know he lives and is in a better place, serving a much "higher calling".  As well as being with his sweetheart again.  I still get chills thinking about their reunion.  I can totally see the smiles and brightness in their eyes as they are reunited.  And to have their two boys again.  I bet they're all together.  I have a hard time making this post right now because I know my thoughts aren't perfectly collected on the matter, but I need to get some thoughts down now.  I will probably add to it later. 

Some of my memories of Grandpa:
- I love his love of learning.  I remember when Alicia, Becky, Grandma and Grandpa, and I all went to the DUP Museum.  It was one of our summer sleepover trips.  We were walking through the place, looking at all the old stuff, and came upon a maintenance guy who was standing on a ladder, doing something with some tubing and was reaching up into the ceiling.  Grandpa never let a moment like this pass him by, he walked right up to him and asked the man what he was doing.  Well, we waited and listened for a few minutes, but kept on moving from room to room.  It was at least 30, maybe 45 minutes before we saw Grandpa again.  He caught up to us, filled us all in about what they were doing in the ceiling, and all the while, just FASCINATED with it all.  I have no idea what it was that they were doing, but his enthusiasm for it left me smiling.  He was like that with everything too.  He never hesitated to ask a question. 

- I loved showing off my kids to him because he would sit and watch them play and analyze their every move.  Sometimes it was a little overwhelming.  I remember him pointing out that my kids listen to their Dad much better than they listen to me, and him asking me why that is.  But most of the time it was just fun to tell him all about them and their different personalities.  And again he was fascinated.

- I remember all the years of playing piano at his house, he would sit there in the blue chair aimed right at the piano, watching me, making me nervous :), but whenever I would finish a piece (no matter how choppy it was) he would clap, and then proceed to tell me how baffling it is to him that people can follow the notes and move their hands to the keys all at once and so quickly.  I loved that.  He never grew tired of it either :)

- He was so patient with me when he was teaching me voice lessons too.  I'm sure he still cringes when I sing, but it was nice time that we were able to share.

- I will never forget him teaching me how to dry the glasses.  One time (and I think there was only 1) Grandma let me wash the dishes with Grandpa.  We chatted and I think I remember being just a little shy.  But when it came time to dry the glasses, he pointed out that it was probably easier for me to wash the insides because my hands were so small, but that he had learned a trick when he was young, that if you took the corner of the towel, shove it down into the glass, and then push the rest of the towel down inside, then twist the towel, you can dry the inside completely!  It was a cool little trick even back then!  I'm happy I still remember that.  I guess it's because I think about it every time I dry the dishes that it's still with me, but just makes me happy to know that I will always have that.  And I just taught it to Kelly today too :)  So now I've passed his trick on.

- I remember him standing around watching, admiring, and commenting on our ceramics as we painted with Grandma during our summer sleepovers.  He was always nearby, but not interested enough to do one himself.  He was funny like that.  He always had nice things to say even though some of them looked more tacky than anything. 

- I remember him quilting with us though, when Grandma was making my blanket that she gave me when I left to college.  I still have the blanket and can always think of Grandma and Grandpa when I use it.  It really did have special meaning knowing that Grandpa had actually picked up a needle and thread to help with it. 

- I laugh about how Grandpa used to drive all the way around town just so that he didn't have to make any left turns :)  He was a very good driver.  Just slow :)

- And of course I can't forget to mention all the songs Grandpa would teach us.  Green Eyed Dragon with the Thirteen Tails, Mares Eat Oats, Hut Sut Ralston, Brian O'Lynn (that's the funniest), This Ol' Sow..... I"m sure there's more.  But I remember Alicia, Becky and I in the back seat of their car, listening to Grandpa sing the song a few times, then getting out our little notebooks Grandma had given us in our little goodie bags, and writing down all the words to the songs as he would teach them to us, word by word.  On the way to Kennecot Copper Mine, or DUP Museum, or even just to Albertson's to pick up some goodies to eat while we watch Parent Trap or Follow That Bird.  Those were good times.

- I don't think I'll ever be able to snitch some of the chips or rolls before a meal is served without thinking about Grandpa.  He was famous for that.  And then saying, "You won't tell the Mrs. now will ya?" 

- "Getting Richer by the minute", "Finer than twisted frog's hair", "Christa-poo"

- I still picture him hopping around quickly to grab someone a chair, or to do something to make you more comfortable.  Grandpa was always the one to jump up to solve a problem, clean up, or help out.  He had a little bounce in his step as he did it.

- I remember always bragging about what a good whistler my Grandpa was.  He really was amazing at it.  I wish I would have tape recorded him whistling....

- I remember the hours I spent over at their house, teaching Grandma and Grandpa how to use their computer.  Grandpa had his little notepad there writing down each step to turn it on, then all of the different buttons in Word.  That's all they wanted to use on it, but it took forever to teach them how.  And they would call me every once in a while with questions.  I loved that.  They were both so humble.

- It was really sweet after Erika's blessing, Grandpa insisted on shaking Nate's hand right after so that he could compliment him on such a good blessing.  He said he'd never heard such a sweet blessing.  He was just so awesome to do that!

- He always hesitated to hold my babies.  He was "afraid he'd break them", he said. 

- I always asked Grandpa my big Gospel questions.  He had been a bishop and obviously stayed very close to the Lord, I considered him just a big fountain of Spiritual knowledge.  He really knew a little of everything though, not just spiritual things.  He was always digging deeper in to the Air Traffic Control world with Nate.  And weather.  It was fun to have him remember things that Nate had said at a previous visit and then built on that....




So, I have to type out this whole story of the last 2 days. Saturday morning I got a call from my Mom. She was upset because the CNA had been really obnoxious that morning. Apparently when she got their Grandpa was sleeping. She asked Grandpa why he was sleeping and said, "you're supposed to sleep at night". He proceeded to tell her that he was not sleeping well. So she said, "Ya know what you could do?" and he said, "what", and she said, "you're not gonna like it" and he said, "tell me" and she said, "You could die." Even just typing it it stil rips my heart out to know that someone said that to him!! Well, my mom was pretty upset about it, she had been in the other room and overheard this conversation, and called me on her way to work. Well, I got upset and called the CNA company and complained about the CNA. It was actually a nice conversation, they were very polite, apologized, and then told me that they would stop having her come. I felt good that I had "taken care" of that. But I felt like Grandpa would need some visitors that day, after having such a crappy start to it. So I called and told him we wanted to visit, and bring him dinner. Well, things didn't go as planned that day, we didn't get up getting over there until it was actually dinner time. But we took the food over and prepared it there. So we were able to sit and visit with him for a good two hours. I wish we had stayed just a little longer, but I didn't want him to get overwhelmed with the kids and all. It was such a nice visit though. When I look back on it, I can tell that he was feeling ready to go. We talked a lot about what happens after we die. He had mentioned that he was struggling with some questions he had about the afterlife. He had been pouring over the scriptures and praying for an answer. He told us that the answer he came to was that the Lord would decide. And that the Lord knows each person individually, and there is no checklist of things that we do or don't do, but that our fate is decided by the Lord. He felt very at peace with that answer I could tell. We asked him a few of our questions, he humbly just said that he didn't know, but that he did know that the Lord is in control of it all. It is kind of nice to think about. That we're not judged by someone who doesn't know our true intentions and feelings of our hearts, but by the only one who truly knows us. He was very sweet, very grateful for the dinner. Then on Sunday, after we hurried and ate our dinner (quickly, since we were trying to get up to Nate's family's meeting in time), I had the feeling that rather than eating a second roll-up, I should pack it up with some chips and fruit and take it to Grandpa.  It was weird because I was really still hungry and wanted to eat it, but I felt really strongly that we should take it to him.  It was tricky too since we were in such a hurry.  But luckily, Nate let us stop on our way and I ran in, gave Grandpa the food, and then offered to do anything else he needed done.  He mentioned his tv remote was still not working, and I noticed him sitting there in complete silence.  I sat down and tried really hard to make it work.  I was probably working on it for about 15 minutes and got nothing.  He was feeling bad and like he had imposed on me the whole time and kept telling me to go to my family.  But I really wanted to help him.  And I couldn't help but think that that was the reason I had felt prompted to bring him the lunch.  After a few more minutes Charity came in and informed me that Erika had been screaming and that they needed me out there.  Grandpa insisted that I go, and I felt the need to take care of Erika, so I left.  But I did get to give him a hug goodbye. For the last little while I've had the thought "this might be the last time I get to hug him" when I've said goodbye, so I'm glad I actually took note of that hug.  He was very grateful, and so sweet to act like he would be fine without the remote working.  Looking back I wonder if that wasn't meant to be that his tv not work.  So that he could have some nice quiet time to think and ponder as we have found he did a lot of near the end there.  I'm sure Grandma was with him anyway during those last few hours.  I feel very blessed to have been with him so recently to his death and to have been able to serve him a little with meals and such during the last little while.  I know that I was prompted to do that.  And very grateful that I didn't have to feel more guilt than I do about not being there for him enough. 


He really hasn't been himself for the last few years.... well, ever since Grandma left. They weren't meant to be apart for long. We all knew that. It was hard for him to let her go because he knew they would be apart for a while. I'm glad that he is with her again. To have the bounce back in his step, the smile on his face, the toot in his whistle :).... it's definitely a blessing. Hopefully he knows I love him and care about him. And hopefully I live a life filled with service and love just as his was, so that I can be with him and Grandma again.




He had a very interesting funeral.  Brent says "it was long and dry, just as he would have wanted it".  Which makes sense since he planned it all.  He had it all planned out before he died I guess.  And really, it couldn't have been more like him.  Even the opening song "Sweet is the Work" is just like him.  He loved the Gospel so much.  He loved everything about it and was always showing us his testimony through the way he lived.  Not to mention he was such a hard worker.  I remember him teaching me the quote (back during the time of my life where I was obsessed with collecting silly little quotes.... he aided in that obsession of course with his Robert L. Evans book....) "Why kill time when you can work it to death?"  And he would have totally wanted us thinking about the Gospel and the "work" at his funeral rather than him being gone.  He really was that amazing.  I loved the Violin/Piano musical number of "Be Still My Soul" very appropriate, and beautiful.  And while it was crazy to have all of the grandkids and great-grandkids singing in front of everyone, it was nice to be able to do that for Grandpa.... it's what he wanted. 

I did love getting to see my cousins as well.  It's too bad that we don't see them more often and under better circumstances, but I can't think of any people I'd rather lose someone with (if you can say that).  They're so awesome.  I am happy I have this picture of Alicia, Becky and I.  They've always had such a special place in my heart.  It's nice to have cousins.

I hope Grandpa knows how much I love him and will miss him.  He has left a hole in my heart that I'm not sure will go away anytime soon.

I love you, Grandpa!

The last day of that session..... I just love my cute kids!

The last day of the session, someone had pooped contaminated the pool our lessons were in so they moved us to the other pool.  I was happy because this meant I was closer for taking pictures :)  Gave me something to entertain myself for the hour. 

Charity's just so pretty!

It was really hard for the "big" kids to wait while Luke had his class that session.  "How many more minutes?"

"I got a sucko, Mommy!!"

I absolutely LOVE the relationship between Erika and Luke.  They fascinate each other.  And they're so much alike!

This picture is to remind me that the swim lessons are ALL worth it.  The money, the time, the craziness.... she's got such a cute big smile while she's swimming :)

Charity had to go in the other pool to practice diving and to go on the diving board.  Nate tagged along with her so that I could have some pictures :)  And he got some really good ones.

when she looks at this she says, "I was SO NERVOUS!"

I'm really so proud of the kids, they've done so well.  Noah was asleep in the stroller during this hour, hence no pictures of him..... we still love him :)

Very Hungry and Caterpillars

Nate's playing with the camera some more.

I've gotta say that I am loving the new layout, and the new uploading thing for blogger.  I'm not sure if it's any faster, but maybe just the fact that it's different!!  I definitely love that I can have bigger pictures though.... funny because I just spent like an hour the other day trying to figure out how to do that!  Good thing I gave up.  So anyway.  On Tuesday evening, after swim lessons, Nate was feeling like an outing, so he took us up to Mueller park.  We had a good time despite all the weirdness involved.  And all the caterpillars.  You wouldn't believe how many caterpillars there are up there!!!!  It's INSANE!  The first picnic table we stopped at was completely covered... no exaggeration.... in them, and there were stink bugs scurrying around as well.  The spot we finally settled on had fewer caterpillars (to begin with), and not very many stink bugs.  But after we got settled and started eating, we noticed little spots all over our napkins and subway wrappers.... of course, caterpillar poop!  Kinda gross right.  Yeah, I don't think we could have been pioneers.  We were all just a little annoyed with the situation.  It was still good to be out.  And actually VERY memorable.  I'm still laughing about the caterpillar on Noah's head.  He was SO calm!!!  And just stood there while I got the camera.  It was also pretty funny everytime we heard the girls call out, "I found another caterpillar!!"  When really you didn't need to "find" them, they were just EVERYWHERE!!!  I really don't know why it was so bad... I've never seen it like that, but anyway.  good times.

tell me it doesn't look like my son is flashing some kind of gang sign or something....

gross.