The Scariest Thing I've Done Yet!

I finally decided to post this.  Not for anyone else, just for myself.  This is the talk I gave in Stake Conference on August 28th 2011.  I'm pretty sure that was the most nerve-racking thing I've ever done, and hopefully I'm exempt from giving any other talks in the near future :).  I had 2 months to plan and write this talk, and it ended up being WAY too long.  I had WAY too much information and it was difficult to cut it down to fit in a 7 minute talk.  I gained such a strong testimony of Reverence.  It's funny how giving a talk can do that.  I love thinking that by showing Reverence to my Savior and his Gospel, and toward my Heavenly Father, I can become a better person.  I loved being able to show my Heavenly Father my love by giving this talk, and for that I was grateful for the opportunity.  Not only was it a witness of my testimony and my faith, it was strength to my testimony and faith of the love he has for me and that he would not ask me to do something so horribly difficult without standing right by my side through the whole thing.  I really couldn't have done the talk, or the 2 months before, without his constant watch.  It really was an amazing experience.  I hope I did what he wanted, said what he wanted, and was able to teach with the Spirit.  Here is my talk:


The topic I was given to speak on is Teaching Reverence in the Home and Demonstrating Reverence in our Church Meetings. This topic scared me! I have six little kids and I've walked out on a LOT of meetings with screaming kids and kids upsidedown with their bare feet up in the air! I really wasn't sure what I was going to say about reverence. Or how you all might take it coming from me. But the words from a Primary song came to my mind. Reverence is more than just quietly sitting, it's thinking of Father above, a feeling I get when I think of his blessings, I'm reverent for reverence is love. And Marion G. Romney defined Reverence as a profound respect, mingled with love and devotion.
This simplified things a little bit for me and pulled my attention away from the disruptive behavior, or irreverence that was clouding my mind. Love, respect, and devotion.
An example of how to teach these principles to young children stood out to me. I was in my son Bradley's nursery class one Sunday. At one point, The teacher announced that it was picture time. The kids all got very excited and crowded around her. I watched with anticipation to see what picture time was. She passed out laminated pictures of Jesus from the Gospel Art Kit. From the pictures of Baby Jesus, to the one of Him on the cross. They were all very pleased with the one they had. She got their attention and then said, "Who is in your picture?" and all the kids answered, "Jesus!" Then she proceeded to tell them in plain and simple terms, "Jesus is our friend. He loves us. He wants us to be happy." I loved the Spirit that joined us at that point. Then as she finished, she told the children to give their picture a hug and a kiss. This was weird at first, but as I saw the looks on the kids' faces, it seemed so natural and so sweet. I was amazed at the power of that pure and simple message that clearly had been taught every Sunday so that they could learn and feel the importance of our Savior in a way that they would understand. It was just beautiful. That to me is reverence. I'm sure those tiny little nursery kids were not being what we would normally call "reverent". I'm certain there were giggles and shouting, but they were being taught the love and respect and devotion that will lead them to reverent behavior. And the Spirit was there.

Sounds like Reverence really is a way of life. In order to teach it we have to develop it. Then exemplify reverence as parents and as members of the church in our everyday lives.
I believe that if we prayerfully seek for an answer, Heavenly Father will help us to know what particular things our families can work on. It is different for every family and we will all work at a different pace. But it starts with the parents and their examples.
I've been given a lot of advice over the years and I found some ideas in conference talks on how to help your family demonstrate reverence in church. Here's my list:
1. Make sure everyone has had enough sleep, enough to eat, and enough attention. Parents and kids alike.
2. Plan ahead. Use Saturday as a day to get ready for Sunday. The physical things, like clothes and cleaning the house, so you're not rushed, but also get ready spiritually. Having the whole family participate will show our children how we feel about the Sabbath. And that we want the Spirit to be there.
3. Consistant attendance. This is good for the kids, in creating habits, but also, as parents helps us to become more aware of what the problems are and come up with solutions.
4. Clear Expectations. We had some friends whose children were famous for how quietly they could sit through meetings. Their secret was that if their kids are not reverent at church, they have to practice being reverent when they get home, by sitting still for 10 or 15 minutes. After only a few weeks of needing to practice, all it took was a reminder of what the consequences would be, and they would sit quietly. I think most importantly, they learned what is expected of them and they know what sitting quietly feels like.
Another example I'll never forget was one Sunday when my 1 year old Luke was dragging me through the halls during Sunday School as he always did. We ran into a member of the Bishopric who lovingly gave me some advice. He told me that when his kids were little and he would have to take them out of a meeting, he never let them out of his arms. He didn't want them thinking that the halls were any different. They still had to be reverent. At the time that this advice was offered, it was very unwelcome. I couldn't have been more annoyed with it! And I don't remember even trying it with Luke. But when I tried it with my next son, Noah, it was a huge blessing and actually worked. Every kid is different, so expectations will be different. Figure out what you expect of your children and make sure they know what it is.
Number 5 took us a while to figure out, but it really can be helpful for some kids. Limit the amount of teaching tools you bring. We have some friends who from day one with their kids, never brought any toys, treats, books, nothing! to church. Their kids were next to perfect from where I was sitting. While I thought that was admirable of them, we were in the habit of bringing a huge backpack FULL of things to entertain our kids, so we didn't really try it back then. We've slowly weaned ourselves from most of it, we bring very little now, and our row is less like the circus.
6. Learn the hymns as a family so that your children are familiar with them and can enjoy them in the meetings.
7. Teach your children the sacredness of the sacrament. Give them ideas of things they can do to focus on the blessings and covenants made at baptism. In my cute little CTR 7 class the kids were asked what they can do during Sacrament meeting to help them think of Jesus and be quiet, and cute little Elena answered, "I could read my scriptures". Made me think that I just might be underestimating these little ones. How simple. I loved that answer.
One thing to keep in mind while struggling with an irreverent child is that we are not only teaching a child his first lessons in reverence, but the child may be mastering his first attempts at self-discipline. A skill that will bless them their entire lives. It's not something that's going to come easy. So reward your children when they do well. Whether it's just a simple, "Thank you for sitting quietly" or a sticker on a chart.
Even if we do everything we can to teach our kids how to act at church, it's useless if we're not setting the example first. Let's all make sure we are as reverent as we want the children to be, before, during and after our meetings.We are not perfect. Our kids are not perfect. Nobody is perfect at showing reverence. I hope that we can all cut each other a little slack, give each other a little more room for error, and that we can also put forth a little more effort toward applying these principles to ourselves and then teaching them to our chilren. This can lead us all toward reverence and quieter meetings.
President Packer told us the blessings we can receive from being reverent. He said, "While we may not see an immediate, miraculous transformation, as surely as the Lord lives, a quiet one will take place. The spiritual power in the lives of each member and in the Church will increase. The Lord will pour out his Spirit upon us more abundantly. We will be less troubled, less confused. We will find revealed answers to personal and family problems."
These seem like such huge blessings from something as simple as reverence. By small and simple means are great things brought to pass. I testify that even the smallest steps toward having more reverence in your heart, and teaching it to your children, will make a difference in your home and in your life. We are repsonsible to teach our children reverence for our Savior, reverence for His Gospel, and reverence for our role in the Plan of Salvation. On the church website it said: Reverent behavior includes prayer, scripture study, fasting, and payment of tithes and offerings. It includes having wholesome thoughts, wearing modest clothing, and using clean, wholesome language. The depth of a person's reverence is evident in his or her choice of music and other entertainment, in the way sacred subjects are spoken of, and in the way the person dresses and acts when attending church services and worshiping in the temple. Reverence also includes making righteous choices even when no one is watching. Reverence for the Lord leads to serving other people and treating them with kindness and respect.

Future Memories

- Monday, Nate and I and Erika and Noah went on a 5 1/2 mile walk all around.  We went on our usual walk, up to the school and then over toward Island View Park, then up over and down to Parrish Lane.  This time we went down to 300 E so that we could fill up our jug with the well water.  I love walks with Nate.  We have such a good time.  It's such good talking time.  And not just for us, Noah and Erika talk up a storm!  Erika chose to cry that particular morning, but they also sang some "We Will We Will Rock You!" or "Wah Wah" as Erika says the last part.  It was so nice.  9-19-11

- Tuesday Erika got her finger pinched in the visor of the stroller.  It totally ripped the skin off the tip of her finger!  I couldn't believe how bad it looked!  It happened while I was in the school helping in Bradley's class, so by the time I saw her, she was done crying.  But it was way cute because when she saw me the first thing she did was show me her owie.  She was very solemn about it.  It almost made her cry again just looking at it.  Nate had had to carry her while pushing our double jogging stroller for about 1/2 a mile.  While she screamed and cried.  Sounds like something I'm glad I missed out on, but should have been there for. 9-20-11

- Wednesday we went down to Jen's work to meet her to take her out for her birthday lunch.  Nate's parents joined us.  We ate at Zupas and it was very yummy!  I think I'll have to go there again sometime!  I didn't love spending the whole time in the bathroom with Noah complaining that they don't have any "pee ones", but I do love the simplicity of taking 2 kids out to eat.  It was nice the day before, we went to Applebee's with the three little ones and it really is just so simple and enjoyable.  I don't think the older kids add any more chaos, it's just the large number that makes it less simple I think.  Jen seemed to enjoy her lunch as well.  It's always good to hang out with her.  Even if Erika and Noah were totally shy and never really warmed up to her.  9-21-11

- Wednesday night was a tricky one.  I think it was a combination of my workout, and then just still feeling crappy from this cold thing I have, but I was EXHAUSTED!  I had no energy!!  I was dreading bedtime (particularly Erika's bedtime) all day.  Which is just lame because my kids do relatively well these days.  But I was struggling with even dinner time.  I decided we needed to clean up a little and thought up this great idea to bribe the kids (oh, I mean REWARD the kids) with a trip to get some ice cream if they could do the upstairs in a certain amount of time.  (We set my stopwatch and do speed cleaning to see how fast we can do.  It's somewhat of a pointless way to clean up, but it's good enough sometimes.)  So anyway, my plan was for Erika to fall asleep on the way home.  And lucky for me, the kids did the cleaning, with little complaints, we went out to Arctic Circle in our jammies, and Erika fell asleep ON THE WAY THERE, so we just went through the drive thru.  I made the kids sit in the car for a bit while I took Erika in and put her in bed.  It was perfect.  I was relieved.  Brad got to have his 10 minutes and all was well!  (We started a new thing a couple weeks ago that a friend told me about.  Each kid gets a special day of the week.  They are the special helper, and they get to choose where they sit in the car and at the dinner table, and then they get to stay up 10 extra minutes at night.  So far I'm unimpressed.  Mainly because it turns into 30 or 60 minutes with me having to get Erika to sleep still.  So I'm not sure we'll keep it up.  But if we do, we're going to be adding the other element... DISHES to the mix.  My friend's kids have to do the dishes on their day as well.  I think it's a great idea.)

- Thursday was thursday.... still no improvement.   9-22-11

- Nate made us some yummy salmon on Friday.  SOOOOOO delicious.  Grilling Salmon was one of the many qualities I didn't get to experience before we got married.... just an added bonus to the perfect package I picked out to spend eternity with.  He made the whole dinner actually and I loved it!  The girls had late nights with their friends.... lotsa fun! 9-23-11

- Halibut Tacos Sunday night!  Nate is awesome!!  The kids even ate them.  9-25-11

Forget-me-nots

I loved the Relief Society Broadcast last night. I wanted to put down some of my notes so that I don't have to keep track of this notebook that I stumbled on as I was walking out the door.  Or the piece of paper.  Seems to be a bad way for me to keep things.  This is a good way :)  So here it is:
Sister Julie B. Beck spoke first, she is the RS General President.  She said:
- The RS was organized under the authority and after the pattern of the Priesthood.
- It is a vital part of recieving temple blessings
*One thing that hit me during her talk, as she was talking about the problems that a lot of the Sisters might be facing right now, is that I have very little problems right now.  My life is relatively conflict-free.  And I wanted to remind myself to be happy and grateful for that, and not let this time of my life get by without noticing that and letting it bring me closer to my Heavenly Father rather than waiting til something bad happens.
- Visiting teaching is an expression of discipleship.  *I liked this because I hate that there are so many people out there that feel like they don't need to be visited.  They feel like a project and don't enjoy the visit for what it is.  It really is good for both parties!  And to deprive someone of that "expression of discipleship" seems kind of silly. 
- The depth of our charity is more important than the statistics.  *I think this was in reference to Visiting Teaching as well.  I liked that.

Sister Silvia H. Allred was next.  I love her accent even though it makes it harder for me to understand.  I think I pay attention a little better.  She said a lot about Charity.  Which I loved.  She said:
- Charity is a state of being or a state of the heart.  Not just something you do or give.
- It purifies those who have it.  *this is like a lot of the virtues.... when we are possessed of them, they make us stronger and our faith grows stronger because of them, and then that faith helps us to follow them and desire to possess them more.... love that.
- We should desire and pray for charity.
- "Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down."  *Very useful.

Sister Barbara Thompson was next.  She said a lot of things that touched me very deeply.  I don't think I will share those here.  Probably in my journal.  I don't think it was specifically things that she said, but more what I felt during her talk.  The Spirit was very strong.  I will cherish the experience I had.

Then President Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency spoke.  His talk was just awesome.  Here are the things I wrote down:
His talk was based on the Forget-me-not flower.  With the five petals that inspired him to give us 5 things to forget-not. 
1. Forget not to be patient with yourself.  He said that sometimes we are more patient with those around us than we are with ourselves.  Then he said that Heavenly Father is fully aware that we are not perfect and that the people around us are not perfect despite what we may think.  We need to be aware of our successes.  Heavenly Father noticies them. 
2. Forget not good sacrifices vs. foolish sacrifices.  He spoke of using our time more wisely.  "Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?"  *This was a good reminder.  I know there are a lot of times I have to weigh things out in my mind before I decide it is worth doing.
3. Forget not to be happy now.  He talked about Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and how the world became so obsessed with finding the "Gold Ticket" they no longer enjoyed the chocolate.  He warned against being to concerned with having our gold tickets.  He said there is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings though.  We just need to make sure we enjoy the little things that happen in between.  *I have serious problems with this.  Frequently in my life in fact.  It's nice to know that it's okay to yearn for things, but just not making that my only focus.
4. Forget not the WHY of the Gospel.  Not WHAT and HOW.  The Gospel is not an obligation, it is a pathway.  We should transform the mundane into the magnificent.
5. Forget not that the Lord loves you.  *Ahhhhh.  That always feels so good coming from an apostle of the Lord.

I felt so torn about whether I should go up to the meeting with Nate's family as is the tradition or whether I should stay here and go with my ward.  It was a great time with Nate's sisters.  I love them so much.  The food was great, and the company even better.  I did feel a little bummed to find out that my stake had done a service project along with the dinner where they sewed dresses for little girls to be sent to Africa.  I had been looking forward to that project, but didn't remember that it was combined with the broadcast.  The reason I say this is because I want to remember to just invite the Maynes girls down here when we have something cool going on, so that they can all participate as well!  Would have been cool.  But oh well.  It was a very nice meeting.  I can't wait til Conference!!

VOLCANOES!

Sarah and I made our way up to Kennecott Copper Mine on Thursday afternoon. We had my three littles, Luke's friend Carter and Sarah's two boys.  I have to say I was slightly disappointed with the Mine.  Especially with how far away it is (forgot about that drive!).  Luke and his friend Carter were bummed that we didn't just go home and play the wii.  Noah had to go to the bathroom the whole time.  Erika was fine, but she got to be kind of lazy halfway through and needed to be carried everywhere.  Noah fell and gave himself a shiner.  Carter was spitting water all over the place.  Kind of annoying.  It just isn't the way I remembered it.  They did enjoy looking in the microscopes at the minerals, and looking at the big hole.  It was really cute as we were driving up there, Carter announced that he could see the volcanoes!  That got them somewhat interested for a little bit.  I think Lukey liked the models of what the pit has looked like over the years.  And he can't wait to go there in 2015 to see if it looks like their projected model.  He's so funny.  Overall it was an okay trip.  I just think I was just too tired for it.

 Not the best place for a glare....

 Noah, Charlie and Sarah, trying to lift up the tire.... we were trying to get Charlie to stand in a picture with Noah....

Random Photos

The girls took these first few while they were doing their reflections photos I think.

COOL TRICK, NOAH!

We have deer in our yard on a daily basis... Nate got these ones

I just loved all these ones of Erika.... I don't even care if this is blurry.... freshly bathed, baby girl.  Who doesn't love that!

These are the huge (10 point!) bucks I saw a few days later!  Pretty sweet!! 

Aspiring Photographers

Charity, Kelly and Bradley are really excited for Reflections this year!  They have talked about so many different kinds of entries that they want to do, I think so far Charity has done a poem, story, dance, movie, and some photography, and Kelly is right up there with her.  I'm not sure how much they'll actually complete and turn in, but whatever... "as long as I'm not nagging them to do it", I said they were fine to do whatever :).  So anyway, I let them use my camera the other day and they took some pretty amazing ones!  I won't share their editted ones yet, since they haven't been turned in yet, I don't want any of you stealing their great ideas!!  But here are some of my favorites:

 Those first ones were Kelly's these last few are Charity's

Future Memories

- Monday, Nate and the two littles and I went on a walk after we took the big kids to school.  We walked up and around Island View Park, then down and around the cemetary and back.  It was really nice.  This is one of the things I love about Nate's strange schedules.  The days off.  Very enjoyable for us as a couple.  Then we made a trip to IHOP as well ;)  Caramel Apple Crepe.... mmmmmmm..... love that place.  9-13-11

- Tuesday night, Grandpa Hatch called to come over with some pizza!  We were so excited because I still hadn't thought about dinner.  Nate was working, and that always makes it so unmotivating to cook.  Grandpa brought two pizzas, a bunch of drink boxes leftover from the reunion, and a HUGE box to play in.... the latest thrill.  After an hour or so, Grandpa announced that Tuesday was ice cream day and then the kids begged me to let us go get some.  My Dad said he did that on purpose so that I couldn't say no.  We all went to Baskin Robbins and had ice cream!  My favorite part of the evening was when Noah finished his ice cream.... about two seconds after, he asked, "Can we go get a snowcone now?"  Nate had promised him one earlier, so he was still set on it.  He proceeded to cry when I told him ice cream was enough treat for one evening, screaming out, "I WANT A SNOWCONE!!!" While we're sitting there outside of Baskin Robbins with ice cream all over his face :).  What a funny little boy.  Grandpa wanted to give in and get him one, but there's no way.  Unfortunately when we went to get him one the next day, we got to the little rainbow, just as they were pulling the thing away on a trailer behind a truck.  Such a bummer! 9-14-11

- Wednesday, Sarah and the boys came over for an evening without the Dads with us.  We had planned to have breakfast for dinner or "brinner" as we like to call it.  I was getting ready for our Relief Society night as well, preparing a pie, so I did a little of that, and made some pancakes.  I thought since I usually make 2 batches, with a few extra people, I should probably make 3.  It was a lot of pancakes, but I made the whole 3 batches.  I tried to keep them warm on the stove, instead of serving them immediately, so that we could all eat together.  Well, long story short, everyone was sitting at the table, prayer said, and a few bites into it, they all hated them!  My kids are pretty good at eating what they're given, and don't complain a LOT, but this time, they were all dissatisfied with them.  I finally got it out of them that they tasted weird.  It seemed strange that they ALL would feel that way, so I tasted them, and sure enough they had some weird metallic flavor to them.  It was strange.  And gross.  Sarah agreed, so I tossed them ALL into the garbage.  What a bummer!  Luckily we had some leftover pizza from the night before, and so we just warmed that up and called it dinner.  Kinda lame, but whatever.  I finished my Strawberry Fudge Pie, Sarah played with the kids in the backyard, and then we hauled off to the Relief Society meeting.  Thankfully they had a nursery since Nate was working.  It was a fun evening, but I wish they'd taught me how to make pie crust and pies BEFORE I was asked to bring one to sample..... my crust was a little crispy, but the rest of it was delicious!  Pie crust, brownie, cheesecake, and strawberries on top!  Drizzled with melted chocolate chips too!  I really liked it :)  The kids were nuts as the meeting was getting over and they were done in the nursery.  They embarrassingly made their way around the pie buffet and helped themselves to whatever... it's all a blur now, I was just so done.  But overall, the evening went well.  9-15-11

-Thursdays are a little strange.  Nate works Wednesday evenings til 10:00 and then has to go to work Thursday morning at 7:45.  So he comes home to sleep and that's all.  It's weird to do that, but even weirder, I think, is when he gets home that afternoon around 4:30.  It's so awkward.  I decided tonight that it's because Nate's been in Controller mode for pretty much 24 hours (minus the sleeping time) and I'VE been on Mommy mode for the same 24 hours.  It feels so weird to switch over to Husband-Father/Wife.  We are both exhausted.  I'm not sure how to explain it I guess.  But anyway.  I guess we kind of broke it up a little today by Bradley and I going on our much awaited for Date.  I took him to Paradise Bakery to FINALLY get his FREE Kids Meal that he got from his teacher almost 6 months ago.  After that we went bowling.  He "won".  I tried so hard to lose, but with the bumpers.... I was actually doing better than I do when I try to win!  So I decided to pull the ol' switcheroo at the end there and gave him the bigger number.  90 to 77.  It was a lot of fun.  We played the question game and I learned a lot about Bradley.  Then when I got home I found out Kelly had been wanting to go out for ice cream for her date, so we hopped in the car and went to Cold Stone.  She and I ate our ice cream up by the temple as we played the question game as well and learned LOTS about each other.  She and Bradley both are so fun to be with.  I love the one on one time especially.  Good times!  On our way home we saw that the mountain above Centerville was on fire!!  Pretty scary.  Nate was fascinated by it as well when we showed it to him.  Crazy stuff... can't wait to hear what happened.  9-16-11

- Saturday was really lame.  This is what I hate about this schedule.  Saturday mornings feel like death.  The kids are all restless, I'm tired from the week and wishing it was a normal "break" of a Saturday, but it's not, and we are all just kinda cranky, lazy and slow going.  This was the first one since he started this schedule, so it was a bummer.  Hopefully we can figure out how to make them go more smoothly.  Although in the evening, Heidi did come up to visit!  Well, not really just to visit, she was working on a book on our computer, but she did come!  And we stayed up talking til 1:00 in the morning.... fun stuff.  I sure wish she lived closer and could hang out more often.  9-17-11

- Sunday, Luke's class joined mine and Brad's class, and since there were 10 kids altogether, and I had to leave to practice the organ a little, we decided to invite Nate to join us.  It was a lot of fun to see Brad and Luke be buds.  Brad totally took him under his wing.  There were 3 other brother couples and they were all just adorable.

Feeding the Ducks

 Last Thursday, Sarah had this great idea to go feed the ducks down at Bountiful Lake.  I'm always grateful for people who invite us to do the things that I have forgotten are fun to do!  Especially with my two little ones these days!  It's almost like starting over, it feels like.  And I'm not as good at the fun toddler ideas as I once was (or remember myself being anyway :) ).  I decided to keep this a secret that morning since Erika has a way of torturing me when she knows that we are GOING to be going somewhere and we're not at the moment.  She is a very NOW NOW NOW kind of girl.  She hates waiting.  Noah is similar, but less obnoxious about it :). 

 I loved the drive down, we were following Sarah and then when we got on 500 S. the last stretch of it, the kids could see Sarah and Charlie and actually, little, sleeping Alvin through their window.  They loved it :)  Noah kept making comments about how our car is faster, and to slow down or speed up so he could see Charlie and such.  It was adorable.  And of course Erika just echoes whatever is being said.  It was just a lot of fun.  We got there and luckily Sarah brought plenty of bread, we went through 3 whole loaves!  The ducks (and geese) were insane, and not shy at all.  Not as bad as Wheeler Farm, but pretty close!  We talked about the "ducky diarrhea" green stuff that was floating on the edge.  But the kids had a blast!  I love the simple pleasures when it comes to little kids.  The little things that cost little (or for me, nothing.  Thanks Sarah.  I'll buy the bread next time :) ).  The things that take little effort or planning.  They seem to be the most fun.

 We took a little walk around the lake a little ways, then stopped throw rocks in the water.  Then it was time to get home for Lukey.  I am so run by the Kindergarten schedule, I dislike that immensely.  Erika stole a ride in the stroller with Alvin, he was so nice to share his seat ;)  She sure loves him!  And any baby for that matter!  But Alvin especially, it's really cute! 

 On the way home everyone fell asleep, so "we" went and got some Arby's for lunch to kind of kill time and get a better nap in ;).  Good times!  Love these days!

....Words to Express....

I have been meaning to do this post for a while.  Since Erika started talking.  It's been a few months now where she has been able to tell us what she wants MOST of the time.  It's so nice when kids reach this stage.  It's like gulping down a tall glass of cold water after walking through a dry desert.  And I think it's such a light at the end of the tantrum tunnel. 
So here are some of Erika's vocabulary in no particular order: 
"Daddy"
"Mommy"
"Chee"- Charity
"Kay"- Kelly or okay
"Bwa"- Brad
"Gookie"- Lukey
"Money"- Noah (this one is funny.  Like when she's telling Noah, "no"- "NO! MONEY!!"
"Dur"- Drink
"Wado"- Water
"Boppo"- Apple
"Nem Nem"- M&M's (Nana's Great-Granddaughter obviously :))
"Cheep"- Chip
"Meer"- Come here
"Fwoh"- Fork
"Hah" - Yeah
"Wah"- Rock (this means she wants to stall and not go to bed)
"Bu"- Book
"Pee Again"
"Behw"- Bear
"Baby"
"Doddy"- Doggy
"Kee"- Kitty
"booh"- Bird
"Deew"- Deer
"Go"
"Done"
"Deedoo"- Thank you
"Pwee"- Please
"come?"- How come?
"Why?"
"Beh"- Bed

Future Memories

- Friday night I got to hang out with Heidi.  We went and got some hot dogs at Costco (not sure why we picked that, but hot dogs or not, they're still yummy :) )  Then we went and saw a movie.  Then we went back to Heidi's because it was "only 9:30" and ended up talking til 1:00 in the morning!!!  Would have been okay minus the hour drive back home.  I was pretty tired!  Just lucky I took Nate's car so that I had some music to blast to keep me awake.  It was a lot of fun.  Hopefully she had some fun too.

- Saturday morning we decided we needed to get out of the house and while Nate and I wanted to go to Temple Square, the kids all voted for a park, so we grabbed some lunch and headed down to West Bountiful Elementary.  We were looking for a place with Four Square markings specifically and this seemed original enough :).  We had a lot of fun.  Brad taught everyone how to play and we actually had some pretty good rounds of it, even with Erika and Noah present.  There was of course, the usual bickering.  The whining and crying, pouting when you get out, that sort of thing, but I figure that's pretty normal with a bunch of little kids.  Hopefully we can get enough practice with it as a family though, that it's not such a big deal to them later, and they can just enjoy the game.  Our family is just full of competitiveness.  From Nate mostly.  So it does make games slightly overwhelming at times ;).  But we did have a lot of fun.

- Sunday felt really nice to not have to do anything at church.  That probably sounds bad, but normally I either teach or play the organ, or like the week before, speak in Stake Conference, so it was nice to have a day off!  It was a little difficult to not feel like everyone was watching my every move when I had to take Erika out after my talk on Reverence, but what can ya do.... I think it's mostly in my head anyway.

- Tuesday was my first day back at the Gym.  I couldn't believe how good it felt to get up and go.  The workout was a killer though.  The whole time I remember thinking that it had to be hard since I hadn't done it in a while, and that I needed to push myself a little harder that time.  Well.... maybe not the best idea, I was SO SORE after!!!  The day of was okay, but the next day!!!  WHOA!!!  Not good.  It was really hard to walk, sit, stand, you name it!  I couldn't believe how hard it was do carry on.  I think the cold I got about the same time made it even worse though.  That was a tough one.

- On Thursday my cousin Becky called and invited us to a last minute outing to the Castle Park with them.  We had a blast.  And it was so nice to be able to hang out with Becky.  Our kids all got along really well.  I don't know why we don't hang out more often.  We'll have to start.

- Thursday the girls had activity days and with the new leaders that were recently put in, they LOVED it!  Nothing against the previous ones, though some of the things I heard made me feel bad that they had to experience, but the new ones are extra fun and sweet.  So that's nice.  They played some games to get to know everyone a little better....

- Thursday night, Chris and Stephanie came over for a little BBQ.  It was relaxing to sit and talk all night, not have to cook dinner... Nate always makes it so nice for me.  I did appreciate that especially with how sick I was feeling.

- Saturday was my Mom and Simon's sealing.  That was a very difficult thing for me.  For the few weeks before, I knew it was coming and slowly talked myself out of wanting to go.  It was strange.  I wasn't really sure what it was that made me not want to go, but I really wasn't all that interested in seeing my Mom sealed to someone else.  Nothing against anyone.  The night before, I had finally had it with the battle inside of me and just decided to turn it over to the Lord.  Becky had reminded me of the fact that I hadn't really prayed a whole lot about it.  I was  really embarrassed about how I felt though, and didn't want to put it into words I think.  So anyway, I prayed about it a lot Friday night.  Kinda personal, so I'll leave out the details, but in the morning, at 7:00, I woke up and realized I was going to go to the sealing.  I woke up Nate, and can I just say how much I appreciate my supportive husband who went along with whatever I was going to decide, and was just so helpful in guiding my decision as well.  I love him for that.  He always knows just what to say, and he is always there for me.  We raced through the house getting ready (just what I hate before going to the temple), left everyone in Charity's care.... nerve-racking still.... and then hurried up to the temple.  I always try to prepare myself spiritually for the temple by not being rushed, not being a mental mess, but this time, it was difficult.  I was still just relying on Heavenly Father to help me feel good about being there.  I struggled a lot.  The waiting was okay, I felt myself calming down, and that was nice (maybe that's why they tell you to get there so early....).  I'll spare you all the details, but I really struggled.  I had a hard time holding back my tears (I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep anyway), and finally just broke down as we left the sealing room.  I'm still not sure what it is that is so hard for me.  It's been a long time since I felt like my parents' sealing was still valid, but I guess this just solidifies it.  Maybe it was just the reminder.  I don't know.  I'm sure it's a lot to do with my relationship with my mom.  It needs to be better too.  So anyway.  That was a tough one.  I'm grateful that Heavenly Father woke me up though, and helped me to go.  I think it as the right thing to do.

- Saturday was also the Ferguson Family Reunion that we had been looking forward to and planning for months now.  It was nice to get that over with.  We were in charge of the games.  We did some fun kids games but had to cut them a little short because Pam wanted to move on to bigger and better things.  Then we did a little Minute to Win it stuff with the adults.  That went okay.  There were a lot of people who participated and seemed to be having a good time, but there were a lot who seemed bored out of their minds as well.  Not really sure how I felt about it all.  I hate doing things in front of people, so I don't really know how I was acting or if I was doing things right, it's all a blur to me now, but it was alright.  I can't say I want to try that again with that group though.  I felt like a lot of the reunion was taken over by Pam and that she was not really used to how we do things in the Ferguson family.  So that was tricky.  But she was just trying.  I know that it's hard to try to fit in to a new family.  We did have a total blast on the bouncy slide that we rented for it.  Nate and I had been really excited about it and then when few kids showed up felt a little weird because we had the most kids there.  But it was actually a TON of fun!!  Especially once the clouds came out and sprinkled on it a little!!  I actually had a lot of fun playing on it after the reunion.  Bradley, Charity and I stayed there playing on it while Nate left with the little ones to get some dinner (we had to wait for the guys to come and pick it up) and we just had SO much fun!  We were laughing, screaming, just really went wild on it.  I loved it.  Hopefully the kids didn't feel too embarrassed by me :)  We were soaked and freezing by the time we were done.  It really helped mellow out my unsettled feelings from the reunion.

- Church was nice today.  I loved not having to do much again.  Minus having Erika with me because she had a runny nose we didn't want to share with the whole nursery.  My favorite thing today was on the drive home from the Family meeting.  The kids always ask for us to tell stories from when we were little, and the last time they had asked, Nate had told a story about a time when he went with his parents up to Rick's to see his sister.  He had eaten the whole bag of chocolate chip cookies his mom made, and had had a little run in with the runs.  It was a funny thing to tell the kids about, I thought, at the time, and kinda chuckled about it, but then tonight, cute little Noah piped in and on his on accord said, "Dad, tell us 'bout the time you ate duh chocwet chips and had diaweeuh!"  He had TOTALLY remembered it.  and liked it.  AND wanted to hear it AGAIN!!  How cute is that!  Made me laugh.  And I laughed the whole time because it was funny to think that he felt that way about that particular story ;)  What a cutie.  What a boy.  And I love that they have a Dad who is fun enough, humble enough, and a good enough story teller, to tell a story like that and make it fun thing for them.  I just really can't be more pleased with my choice to marry him.  That was the smartest thing I've ever done.  And I do take all the credit :)  jk.

Tuesdays

Tuesday.  I'm pretty sure there are going to be a lot of whiny posts about Tuesdays here until I get used to the new schedule.  It definitely takes me a while.  I'm not sure how single moms do the morning, afternoon and bedtime, all on their own.  I am struggling with just the afternoon/bedtime stuff myself, and I'm really not sure why.  I put up my little schedule for the kids as they get home.  We go through backpacks, immediately after walking in the door (which has had a profound affect on my relationship with their backpacks and folders and books and homework assignments and even.... get this.... their READING MINUTES!!!!  So really, that is all very pleasant.  They get their snack, their homework and slowly, their jobs done (with little nagging too, for the most part, thanks to our new "checklist" system I recently devised).  They all helped with getting ready for dinner, and actually thought to do a lot of it on their own INCLUDING NOAH!!!  And that was exciting, they all got to color in a square on their chart.  Then they got ready for bed quickly, reading time went pretty well, even though I think Erika's not too keen on being read to by the kids yet.  We even read scriptures!  And they all listened and participated.  It's crazy that things went south at all, and I really can't pinpoint when they did........

I think the part I'm struggling with, is my tiredness to be honest.  Yeah, I'm just so dang tired right after all of this!  I want so badly to maintain our rules about the tv and the wii, but they are just so EASY!!  And frankly, so much fun for the kids.  But Tuesday is one of our No TV, No Wii days (or was, before I decided tonight I am changing that), so there was a lot of "what can I do?  Can I have a friend over?  Nobody can play... what can I eat?"  To which I just get overwhelmed (it is times 4 or 5 at least).  So anyway.  I did decide tonight, I need to revamp the "Screen time" issue, and the friends over issue as well.  I'm going to buckle down on the having-the-room-clean-before-the-friends-can-come-over part for real now.  Their rooms are getting way too messy way too fast, and really, I just hate listening to their friends tell me how messy our rooms are and how clean theirs are.  Kids can really kill the mood for me, when they're not my own.  No offense.  So anyway.  This evening just really stunk.  I got too frazzled with the things I had planned on getting done.  Erika screamed a lot, and my house is still messy.  So there. 

The upside (nope, you're not imagining this, I am actually going to be positive here!) is the mornings with my Sweetie!  Things are so pleasant in the morning with him around.  It's so nice to have someone to fill in all the gaps I leave.  We've been trying to walk the kids to school and/or go on a little walk after we take them.  And that has been SO NICE!!!  It's been a while since a walk seemed like an enjoyable thing.  I'm not sure why.  But I do love the cool weather in the mornings.  I love seeing neighbors and friends, I like hearing the kids talk about what they do on their way to and from school (even if I have developed a new anxiety about whether or not- or should I say WHEN- Bradley is going to hit someone's car, house or head with a rotten apple).  I love the talks with Nate, I love listening to the two little ones open up as soon as the big kids are gone and they are no longer enthralled in observing their every move.  It's really adorable.  In fact this morning, we took the two littles to IHOP for some breakfast.  They were so sweet and cute and fun and HAPPY~~  not to mention obedient and polite!!! I. LOVED. IT!  I wouldn't trade the moments we share as a whole family for anything, but these ones with just a few, two on two, are just so priceless as well.  I love giving them that attention.  And I can't say I don't love the NON-looks from every person in the store, as I push only 2 kids around in the shopping cart!!  LOVE that!  I miss my kids, miss having them with me every second, and miss their fun personalities, and it's really nothing against my kids, or our situation, they are really quite good kids at the store, it's EVERYONE ELSE!!!  Feels like everyone is staring when you have more than three kids with you.  Sad, but so true.  And I don't love it.  So anyway.  Tuesdays will have a different feel, and hopefully Wednesday can be my recovery day.  The day where I try to redeem myself.  Fixing all the mistakes from the day before.  We'll see :)  And there goes another Tuesday.

Labor Day with the Maynes'

Nate's family has a little get-together every Labor day.  This year, it was at Lynn and Ali's, Jen was in charge.  She did a really nice dinner, and then planned a bunch of "Work to Win It" Games.  It was a LOT of fun.  Who doesn't love games that make you look like a fool.... and the competition of it all!  I nominated myself as the camera-girl. 

Nate's even good at shaking ping-pong balls out of a tissue box that's tied to his back.  Fun stuff :) 

Kelly's such a cute little cheerleader for her team

Popping the balloons since the wind was taking off with them!

I can't help but love the pictures that Erika asks me to take of her :)  She must have loved that crown :)

This was actually a reinactment of what she had been doing a few seconds earlier.  Everyone thought it was adorable that she was standing there all poised and ready to go with the cookie game ;).  She did look pretty cute. 

Doesn't this just look cool?!

Erika was trying to hoola-hoop, but wouldn't back up at all for me to get a decent picture :)  She sure was being a cutie that night ;)