So I think I've reached a new low this last week. I feel like I'm running out of motivation and energy. Well, I don't even know why I say, "running out" it's completely GONE! I am starting to feel that cloud. The cloud of gray that covers my mind when I am pregnant. I was hoping I had somehow skipped out on that part or something, but no, it's here. I guess I'm almost 10 weeks and man, it feels like 30 is a long ways away. I try to stay positive. I always feel like I offend my unborn child when I complain about it and make it sound so miserable. Right now though, it's tricky to be positive. I'm sore already, my back hurts, I am nauseated all. the. time. It doesn't let up at all. So I try to eat small meals, but it takes so long to get up the courage to eat anything, that I am starving and sick by the time I do.... then eating is just miserable. I am really looking forward to my doctor appointment this Wednesday. I think that will be a little ray of sunshine. I hope everything is going okay... seems to be normal... for the most part. I guess I should be more comfortable with this seeing as how it's my 7th pregnancy, but really.... I still worry, I am still anxious, and there are still new symptoms that I have never experienced with any of the others. Kinda bizarre. I guess one thing I've learned from my experience though, is that most things are "normal". There are very few things that should really draw any real concern, and even those.... are normal. I'm sure for some people this is different, but for me, everything is "normal". I was feel all cool about having a 7th c-section and wondered if we were coming close to like a record of some kind, but then I looked it up. The record is ELEVEN!!! Holy moly! I don't think we'll try to beat that record. That's a lot of kids! Seven is a lot of kid. So anyway. I did find out that the record for the most children born by one mother is 69 though!! By some Russian back in the 1700's. She had several sets of twins, triplets, even quadruplets I think. Talk about fertile! And holy moly. How in the world you give birth that many times is beyond me!! I couldn't even do it once!~ ha. I'm kidding. Yeah, crazy though. Kinda makes me laugh about all the people who say that it's bad on your body or that your body isn't meant to carry that many pregnancies and whatever. And granted, we have no idea what kind of shape she was in before or after, but if someone can handle 69 deliveries.... our bodies can do more than we think!!! I do have to find ways away from all the criticism I hear regarding large families. It can get to me sometimes.
So anyway. I'm feeling it. This is getting hard. But just like we learned in Sharing Tim yesterday, "I can do hard things!" Makes me feel like I can do it!
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