Pregnancy Journal

8-6-12
I realize I've had a lot of these lately, but I just had to comment on a few things.  The other night I started having contractions again.  Just out of nowhere.  I mean it's been a couple months since I had any to speak of, and so it was kinda weird.  I was just laying in bed in the middle of the night and there they were about every 5 minutes.  Not exactly, so they weren't regular, and it was all too familiar, the night I "went into labor" with Charity started coming back to me.  So I knew it wasn't anything to worry about, but still, they were waking me up even!  It was strange.  Went on for a few hours and then just stopped I guess because I woke up in the morning.  So that was weird.  Then for the last few days I've had this pinching pain that feels like someone is trying to break my water.  And I've only had that done once, but it immediately brought back memories of that moment!  You don't forget that kind of pain that's for sure!  I'm totally nervous now that things are going to happen when they shouldn't!  It's making me a little bit of a nervous wreck.  There are times when I think it would be nice to just have him and get him here, but then I think about all that I need to do still and how much growing he still probably needs to do and it just stresses me out.  I know this little guy is a tough one.  I've felt it so much during this pregnancy.  I know he is stronger and possibly less sensitive that some of my other boys.  I feel like he has a lot ahead of him that he will need to be strong for and that worries me too.  It shouldn't, but I just have a way of thinking the worst :).  I guess it's a good thing though, because I feel like if there is anything difficult with his delivery or getting him here, I know he will be able to take it.  He's strong.  And hopefully, I'm just a worried pregnant woman who can't get her mind off this baby!  My latest annoying symptom (I've actually had it for a while now, but until recently it hasn't been as much of a problem) is the swelling in my feet!  UGH!!  I really wasn't feeling all that left out in the whole swelling area, as far as pregnancies go.  I think I had a little when I was pregnant with Charity, but that was all.  I've been very blessed obviously because it STINKS!!!  I didn't even mention how yesterday as we were walking out the door to go to church, I went to slip my cute little Sunday shoes on and all I could fit through the top was my big toe!  They didn't fit AT ALL!!  There was no way there were going on.  My first thought was, I'm not going!  Because I don't have any other Sunday shoes.  And there was no way I was going to wear something else!!  I'm glad I had the little story about the little boy with the nurse shoes pop in my head at that moment.  I realized I was being too materialistic and that letting shoes get in the way of me going to church would be wrong.  Plus, all my kids were in the car and anxious to go..... I slipped my little purple slip-ons on, and left, trying not to think about who might comment on those.  Luckily nobody did.  I was grateful I didn't have to have a bunch of people looking at my gigantic feet and cankles.  So anyway.  I now have swollen feet under my belt.  Not that I ever wanted to.