PONDS PARK WARD
Well, we were officially members of the Ponds Park ward on Sunday. I have to say I think we were all a little nervous for this day. You could feel the tension that morning. Maybe it was just because we had to change up our Sunday routine a little because we are now back at 9:00 church instead of 11:00. That really shook things up for Molly, unfortunately. I wish I'd thought about it sooner too. She's been such a good girl for 11:00 church, it was a shock to have her not sleeping and so restless. Such a bummer. But anyway. Sacrament meeting was really awesome. We heard from the old Bishopric and Bro. Jacox and our new Bishop Larsen. I loved the feeling. The Spirit was very powerful too. It feels like it could be home. I was a little distracted with Molly in Sunday school, but I LOVED Bro. Jacox's lesson. I wish he was the permanent teacher. I had a little "I'm home" moment when the girl next to me pulled out a bag of marshmallows and offered them to Molly :). I don't think I'll share the story about why, but this was inspired :). OH! Another cool moment was when Bridger (who Bradley has struggled with off and on over the last three years) passed the sacrament to Bradley. The Spirit told me that that was why we were stuck in the back on the hard chairs. It meant a lot to me to see that Heavenly Father had already orchestrated his own integration. Very cool. The rest of church was kind of a heated, nerve-racking blur. I was supposed to go in Young Womens to be there for the young women to feel a little more comfortable, but since Nate was teaching Primary, I had Molly, and she wasn't having any of that. We only sat in there for like 35 seconds before she started screaming her ear-piercing little scream that sent us out in the hall. I risked it and went into Relief Society after convincing myself that I could make room for myself of course (our building is so small and packed!), and of course she was not having that either. I tried several times, coming back and forth because they were having everyone stand up and introduce themselves. I REALLY hate those things, but I was SO anxious to meet people and introduce myself, I actually wanted it this time- that is saying SO MUCH! So of course, since I wanted it to happen, Molly didn't let it. She screamed, I took her out, she calmed down I took her back in. She tried to get into someone's purse and I grabbed her, so she screamed and I took her out. Then she calmed down so I went back in. Then she grabbed the bag of fish crackers and while screaming shook the bag (of mostly crumbs) ALL OVER THE FLOOR and the lady next to us, so I took her out. And that was it. And since I was in the VERY BACK of the room, didn't get to introduce myself, or hear anyone else. It was SO VERY FRUSTRATING!!! I was sweating and SO angry by then. I couldn't believe I had missed my chance. I couldn't believe I was stuck in the hall while my old and new wards integrated. I couldn't believe I was going to have to wrestle with Molly through yet another hour of church (We still needed to go to Austin's homecoming!). I was SO ANGRY!!! Satan had gottne into my head too, so all kinds of things were going on in there. It was SO not pretty. I was SO MAD!!! So anyway. Hopefully next week is better.
We did get to hear Austin's homecoming address and spent some time at their house for the luncheon. Good time. He's grown so much! Such a great example for my boys!
We dropped Nate off at work on our way home and I juggled everyone on what was left of my patience (I was seriously fried by the end of the day! and hormones were off balance as well). But we did squeeze in a really nice walk around the new ward and ended up having a pretty peaceful evening together. All was well. 8-28-16
FHE
For family night I talked the kids about a new routine/schedule and charts for them. I think we've got a good idea and hopefully I can get those made this week. We went to Grandma Hatch's house to pick some peaches and eat cookies. 8-29-16
REVOLVING DOOR
Our doorbell was ringing off the hook Tuesday! There were so many visitors! Mostly new scout leaders and teachers, it was a little weird. Unusual. 8-30-16
PTA BREAKFAST
I did it. I went to the PTA breakfast. As I was stopping at the stop sign on the end of our street, and turning right to head on up to the school, it occurred to me that I was going to the breakfast! I had really talked myself out it and the idea of being PTA President for next year. Nate had gone fishing with his dad and I'd really wanted to just get some information and not be distracted by Molly and Jack so I was not going to be able to have that happen. Things were just pointing the other direction for so long. But thanks to my Mom tending, I was able to go. And like I said, I had the conscious thought that I was not the only one getting myself there. I think this is something I need to do. I really think it's going to be good for me. I let them talk me into it while I was there in case you didn't gather that. Mr. Denhalter and Natalie Chamberlain are very convincing :). While I was there I did enjoy socializing with a few of the people I knew there- made me realize I'm missing out by not being a bigger part of the PTA. I think it will be interesting and like I always say, I'm not afraid to try something new. I hope I can find someone who will be the perfect partner. Here goes nothing. 8-31-16
DOCUMENTATION
So, I've experienced a lot of this lately and want to try to stay on top of it, so I'm going to document it. Thursday was an exceptional low for me. I think I'm okay saying that I am excperiencing some depression right now. It's weird. And I don't think it's horribly serious because it does seem to be coming and going, but for now, it's a little too extreme to just call it a bad day. Although, I only want to think that way so that I can get on top of it. I'd like to embrace the up days regardless. So Thursday was one of the worst in a while. It was Molly's birthday so I kept beating myself up every time I had a down thought so I think that escalated things. It's been really difficult coming to grips with the reality that she is one. I am REALLY struggling with the idea of her being my last baby. This has been really hard because I have ALWAYS wanted "done" to feel right and good. So far I have only experienced the feeling that it is probably right. I can not bring myself to say anything too definitive. It's a little frustrating for me. I don't necessarily feel like I could have any more, but the thought of not hurts a little. So anyway. I think that was weighing pretty heavily on Thursday along with the tiredness and discouragement about my self-image. I had spent a lot of time Monday looking at pictures from Girls Camp and the pictures others took with me in them and I was pretty much devastated. It's so weird to see myself. I really don't feel like I look as bad as I do. I have been trying so hard to lose weight or get myself in a place where I feel comfortable with me, but it's just not happening. I've wondered about hormones and possible hormone treatment, but overall, I just feel really down and possibly depressed about that. So that was compounded a little on Thursday too since we had Camp wrap-up. Which was another HUGE downer. I am really struggling with being released. It's really hard to not be in Young Women's anymore! I miss them so much and it's so hard to go back to just being in Relief Society and with no calling at all. I know it will happen and I'm not complaining, it's just all adding to my frustration right now. This is so weird because as I look at how I've been feeling lately, even on our trip to Oregon, I have difficulty being happy! Even the things that should cause me to smile or get "happy" make me cry instead of smile. Does that make sense? The word weepy comes to mind and I know that's not good. Normally the cute things my kids do will bring me up and put a smile on my face and it's like a little recharge, but I feel like everything is just tapping into my down. It's frustrating. I don't want it to continue. I have got to recognize it as it happens and purposely smile and purposely tap into the up. It's going to take a conscious effort, but I really want to fix this. I don't want to have to rely on drugs, counseling, or whatever, I would really like this to be something that I look to Heavenly Father to hep pull me out of it. I think this would help with my lulling testimony right now. I need the strength that I think I can achieve from overcoming this weakness. It's nice to get some of my feelings down. Feels like a little load lifted. I will have to work on this this week. I am going to pull out of this. 9-4-16
JACK
When Jack wants to know how old someone is, he says, "What's your number?" or "What's dem number?" So cute! 9-2-16
BRAD FOR STUDENT COUNCIL
Bradley ran for Student Council this week. Spent about three hours making his poster and writing an essay at the beginning of the week and then was nervous about his skit all week before finally settling on something Thursday night. He worked pretty hard trying to perfect things and really did a GREAT job! His slogan: Watch you vote Brad Now watch us win win. Went perfectly with his skit where he sang to the Watch me song and danced a little too :). He was so cute. He was incredibly nervous and says he forgot all the words, but I thought he did great. Unfortunately, he didn't win. Better luck next time :). 9-2-16
HOUSE
We cleaned our house!!! It's been a while since we all worked together and focused on getting our house clean! ALL morning Saturday! It was great! We went and got snow cones to top off the good feeling :). Then the boys, Nate, Molly and I went to Farmington pond to watch the boys fish. Kelly and Erika practiced Lacrosse and Charity ditched us to hang out with her new friend Gabby at Fiiz. It was a fun Saturday. Had to end with Nate going to work of course, but anyway. 9-3-16
VITAL DOCUMENTS
I've somehow misplaced the binder with all of our vital documents in it!!! Birth Certs, social cards, Nate's passport!!! That's the worst one, now that he's gotta renew his security clearance and we can't locate his passport number! I'm so mad at myself for losing it!! We have turned our house inside out looking for it though. I'm racking my brain and can't remember moving it. Anyway- we're praying for a miracle. That's what it will take at this point. I spent MOST of Saturday evening looking for it and now the kids and I have done more searching on Sunday. It's nowhere!! 9-4-16
No comments:
Post a Comment