Blog Hopping

Does anyone else just sit and click on links to blogs? going from blog to blog, just reading random things from strangers??? Probably not. But I do. I guess it's mostly just during the sleepless nights where I play binky to Erika. It's about the only thing I can do while she eats nowdays..... who knew I'd have a kid that would eventually not let me do things while they nurse. Every kid is different I guess. Anyway. The other night, while I was doing a little of this blog hopping, I came across a blog post that really struck me. It's had a huge impact on me since then. Now if only I'd copied the link, I have no idea where it was. I wanted to document at least my feelings about it though. I don't know the lady's whole background of course. I read quite a bit of her blog, and discovered she is someone of a different faith, a mother of 2 (used to be three, and I'll get to that), a new baby and she also works. She had a post about laundry since she was showing off her new way of arranging the clothes in her kids' drawers (which I actually tried and LOVE). I wish I was as good at writing out my feelings as she is because now you won't get the full effect of what she said. She told about how when she does laundry, she thinks about each person as she's folding their clothing. What they did that day to make her smile, what they need to work on, how she can show them more love.... all this about each person as she folds and then sets each thing in the pile for that person. I loved this idea and have started doing it. It makes doing laundry so much more meaningful! It can be difficult if you are doing laundry with kids around.... like me.... it's a lot of in and out with it, but I love it. Then she mentioned that she has four piles of clothes now that she had her baby, and LOVES that she has 4. She wished she had 5, but knew that her most recent baby was a blessing and to not be anything but grateful. She had lost a child (I have no idea at what age, or how.... although I think it was some kind of illness), but found a way to be grateful!!! Is that not incredible?!!! I pictured my laundry with less piles and tears just streamed down my face. I cannot imagine my life with less "piles". She mentioned how hard it was to fold his clothes after his death. I so can't even picture that. It makes me so sad to even think about it. I really felt for her. I couldn't help but wish she knew about the Gospel and want to explain to her that she would see her boy again someday. I tried to mention it in my comment, but anyway. I just realized how much I love and need my kids. Each one of them. What a blessing these little ones are in our lives. This woman's example of love and devotion to her children. What a neat mom. I loved her strength. I understand that a blog doesn't tell it all, I'm sure she struggled, but how neat that she has such a good attitude about her new one and is able to look past the hurt for a minute. Sure helped make all my laundry not look like a bad thing. So then I read on a little more and found out that she works. She said something like, ".... in today's world ya gotta keep up with the Jones'...." as her reason why she worked. That made me so sad for her!!! Why? Why do you need to keep up with the Jones' when you could be keeping up with your little ones? Obviously it's none of my business and those of you that work, please don't be offended.... I understand there are extinuating circumstances. But if you're working just to "keep up with the Jones'"..... I feel bad for you. To miss out on these years with your kids unnecessarily breaks my heart for you. I am so grateful that i don't have to. I don't think I could miss out on this time with my little ones. I felt bad for this woman, she sounded like such an amazing mom though.... I really admire her. So anyway, that was one of the blogs I found. I really felt changed after reading it.... doing laundry is not such a pain, and I feel like things are good here. Another blog I read was one of a new mom who recently had twins prematurely. She aleady had a little girl about 3 years of age. She was sick, didn't know how sick, but went to the hospital on a whim to learn that she could die if she didn't deliver her twins then and there. How crazy would that be!!!! I honestly cannot imagine what that would feel like. Knowing your two little ones who you'd grown attached to, would now be brought into this world early, with less chance of survival. I'm sure there's a little worry with twins anyway, since that's considered high-risk. I don't know how she did it. She told all about the emergency c-section, their small weights, all the fear, and the worry. She had had a hard time wanting to bond with them in the beginning because she was afraid that as soon as she did they would go.... I would be the same way I think.... how hard!!! She is an AMAZING mom though.... she sucked up her own discomfort, hardly mentioned a thing about her recovering from the surgery (which I KNOW is not easy) and proceeded to explain how they stayed with friends, drove hours and hours and hours, had to leave their daughter with friends and family, as they visited their two little angels in the hospital and gave them the love that I'm sure a preemie needs to survive. It was incredible to read about. This too changed me a little. I've never had to adjust to something so huge. It's been very rare that I've felt the tugging from two sides, tearing you apart, wondering if you are giving the right kids the right about of attention.... and wanting to be comfortable at the same time. She then told about how she had to bring them home earlier than she was ready (not "had" to, but she was definitely stressed about the fact that she hadn't even had a chance to put up their cribs as they were coming home sooner than they thought.... which was a good thing, just scary). She told about them having breathing monitors that would go off and a few times having to call 911 and take them to the ER for new problems..... anyway, she's just amazing. She had such an amazing attitude through it all too!!!!! I can't even express how much admiration I have for people who go through these kinds of things in life. They're just incredible examples of determination and committment. I love it. It really made me grateful too for the fact that I haven't had to do any of this. I personally dont' think I could. I know that the Lord blesses people in these situations, but still.... I'm too weak for all that!! She's amazing. I really needed these two women's examples. As dumb as this might sound, I've been a little depressed lately. I know that it's manageable, so I'm trying to take care of it without drugs and just relying on the Lord and Nate, and lots of Priesthood blessings and prayer. I've felt really closed in, not really wanting to do much with friends or other people. In fact, I have felt like I don't have many friends, for some reason (don't worry, when I really think about it, I know you're all out there, carrying on with your own busy lives... it's just the downer in me that has that attitude....). But it's blogs like these that really have me smiling and knowing that there is more to life than the things that bug me, and stressing about stress. So much more. I want to be better at recognizing the good things on my own without having to hear how hard it CAN be. But this was helpful. My life is good. I have my family and that is all that matters. It's tough to feel so strongly about something yet have no feeling about it at all, at the same time.... but I think slowly, I will be able to get that back. I love that we are all on this earth together, and that even through strangers (or family) we can be jolted back to reality and learn from others. I love that. To think that one of these people I may never meet, see, or even read about EVER again, but that she's had this huge impact on my life, is just so incredible. The Lord truly blesses us through other people. So I hope this wasn't a completely lame post.... I always hesitate to blog about things, but then the desire to remember it and have it with me forever finally wins.... life is good.... I think I'll go give my littles ones a big kiss just because they're here and I can.