Timing Is EVERYTHING!

Many of you saw my post on facebook.  The article about the old woman in the grocery store who tells you to cherish every moment of being a Mom.  Well, I think the timing of my reading that article just before my crappy morning today, was more than a coincidence.

The article is interesting.  I'll admit, at first I took my usual "disagree with it and find all the flaws" stance.  But as the article went on, I realized, I couldn't agree with it more!!  There are so many instances in my life, you know them, I blog about them like a crazy person, where those little moments I have with my children, a look, a word, a hug, where my heart just melts!  And I know that the job I have is the only job in the world that could make my life feel as fulfilling as it does.
BUT there are also the other instances.  The ones I don't like to mention as much as others.  The ones where I don't shine as bright, or my kids..... well, don't shine either ;).  And those are the difficult moments that make me wonder.  The wondering that usually leads to negative judging, or feelings of inadequacy.  The wondering that makes me think there's got to be something else out there that I could be doing right now.  The wondering that makes me feel like less of a person.  It's obvious where those thoughts come from and the fact that I let Satan in, and let him influence me.... just makes it even worse.
So anyway.  It felt good to realize that you don't have to enjoy EVERY MINUTE.  I really liked the comparison with the Mt. Everest hike (or whichever mountain she said, I can't remember).  It's true, a hike up an incredible mountain like that would difficult!  You would run into a lot of obstacles I'm sure!  And there would be times when you want to turn around and quit... maybe....  BUT once you set out to do something like that, you have the summit to look forward to.  You have the feelings of accomplishment pushing you on.  One thing I've noticed, when I've succeeded at a great feat, the end, or the summit, is great, but sometimes, the summit is a teensy bit boring!  There's not a lot to do at the top of a mountain.  There's always a great view, but it's really just accomplishing the hike that makes it worthwhile.  Do you get where I'm going with this??  I just don't think the summit would be nearly as desirable if someone just placed you at the top.  It's the hike up, the hard work, the overcoming trial, that makes that summit beautiful.  This is starting to sound a lot like a Miley Cyrus song we all know ;).  But anyway.  I really do think that it's the trials, the hard times, the opposition, that makes parenting really worth it in the end.
I love being a Mom.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  But I don't love that it is hard sometimes.  I appreciate that it is though.  I appreciate that there are bad times so that I can recognize the good!  And enjoy the good times even more because of them.  So this morning was a WHOLE BUNCH of CRAPPY moments that made me grateful that EVERY morning doesn't go like this.....


I was really bugged at the kids all morning.  Felt like anything that could go wrong, did.  A crying fit about pants, pouting because I was making him wear socks.  A tantrum about having to go to the store later, and NOBODY was cleaning up after themselves!  OR GETTING READY FAST ENOUGH!!!  I kept getting mad!
We were supposed to go early for "Moms and Muffins" at the school and I just wasn't feeling it.  I felt like the worst mom ever when we pulled up to the school and couldn't possibly imagine how they would want to be with me after the morning we'd just had.  I hate it when that happens.  I tried to smooth things over as we were getting out of the car, gave hugs and apologized, but it didn't really do it for me- probably didn't for the the kids either.
We went in, got our food and some crazy looks from people.  I hate it when people can tell I'm frustrated.  I can usually hide it, so when I can't, it bugs.  We sat down and a few minutes later, I found myself in an obnoxious conversation about how many kids I have.  ANNOYING!!!!!
Every time I meet someone new I have to have this conversation... or one like it.... and don't feel bad, I realize it's natural, but that doesn't make it less annoying.
"Are these three yours?"
"Yep"
"They're so cute and look so much alike!"
(hesitant smile- preparing for what comes next)
"Is she yours too?"
"Yep"
"So you have FOUR?"
"I actually have six."
"WHAT?!!!  You do NOT look old enough to have six kids!  You had some twins in there right?"
"Nope, just really close together"
"WOW!........"
I know this shouldn't bug me as much as it does.  I realize I put myself in this situation.  But it's very VERY annoying.  And the worst part is, that is when they run out of things to say.  And I'll probably never talk to her again.  I have one more kid than her, but because my oldest is only in 4th grade, I'm a freak.  Ugh.  I know that the way we've had our family is the right way for us.  I've been told that too many times, in blessings, to deny it, or feel otherwise, and I don't want to offend Heavenly Father by saying this.  It really is just annoying.
The woman meant no harm, but really- bad timing!
They didn't even serve muffins, which I'd been looking forward to all morning, since I didn't have a chance to eat.  Cinnamon rolls count as sweets and I'm not eating sweets this year, so oranges and bananas it was.  Bummer.  So anyway.
I kept trying to let my kids know I was sorry, but they were so into the book another mom was reading- another thing I wasn't doing!- they just kind of blew it off.  Sad.
Charity and Bradley were both really helpful with Noah and Erika though, taking them to wash their hands- I did appreciate that!
So anyway- that ended and the two littles and I went to Walmart to pick up a few things we needed for dinner.
Most of the trip to the store was uneventful.  But once we got to the checkout, all heck broke loose!  Erika had wanted a treat and let the WHOLE store know!  And we probably could have gotten out of there with fewer looks if the lady (there was only ONE person in front of us! and it took like 10 minutes!) in front of us had not needed to use every form of payment possible!  I lost count of how many cards she swiped!  Which is fine if I"m not being screamed at and kicked the whole time!  It was just annoying.  And it's definitely been a while since we had a trip like that- I was totally out of practice.  The lady behind me must think I'm an idiot.
The most annoying part of all was the old lady walking up to the store while I was loading my loud kid into the car.  And let me just say- I remained visibly calm the ENTIRE time this was all going on.  I didn't do anything even remotely violent or angry the whole time.  And I was rather proud of myself.  So it was EXTRA aggravating when this lady goes out of her way to come over and say, "Is everything okay here?" and she said it twice!  I had to answer her both times without crying, or freaking out!!  I really just wanted to scream at her!!  "DOES IT SOUND LIKE EVERYTHING IS OKAY??  AND IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?  SHE DIDN'T GET A TREAT!!!  SHE WANTED A TREAT AND DIDN'T GET ONE AND NOW I'M PAYING FOR IT!  NO!  I'M NOT OKAY!!!! I WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE AND SINCE IT WOULDN'T BE CHILD ABUSE, IT MIGHT END UP BEING YOU!!!!"
I know it's not a bad thing to ask.  But at the time, it was to me.  I hate being accused of having things out of control.  Which is actually pretty ironic considering.
So anyway.  This article really began to ring true to me throughout the morning.  I was grateful for the little ray of hope it gave me.  To be a reminder that even though there are bad days, or bad moments, they do end.  And the good things will still happen.... eventually.


And just for the record, I'd rather have the old ladies reminding me to enjoy these times, than have them frown at me, or ask me accusatory questions when I'm putting my screaming child in the car.