- 8-17-10 We had a big Sunday dinner here with Heidi, Brent, Sarah and Charlie, and Grandpa and Steve. It was a last minute idea starting with Heidi being here and wanting to spend some time with her and grew into a really fun evening. I was so anxious to eat the yummy food and eat it when it was warm, but when we sat down to eat everyone couldn't stop talking for the prayer! It was so funny. I really loved it. It's fun when everyone gets together and enjoys it. We watched home videos afterwards. Loved that too. Minus the part where I realized Brent really was kinda picked on. At least in this one we watched. He was totally trying to teach me something and really couldn't get a word in edgewise because of everyone cutting him off and teasing and talking. It is actually really funny to watch now, but I felt bad too. Funny, the emotions that can come watching home videos. Good times though, wish they could happen more often!
- A while ago I had one of those days where it felt like everything was just going to smother me. I really can't describe how hopeless I was feeling and I wasn't sure how I was going to get out of the darkness. Nate gave me a minute to myself so I drove up to the temple to think and pray. I wish I had felt like going in. I really felt a lot of different emotions that just didn't involve feeling worthy for some reason. I wasn't sure what it all was but now I know it was just Satan. I had a really neat experience though. For some reason I had thought to take my scriptures and a notebook with me on my time out, and while I was sitting there I had a few ideas of things to write down. Questions to ask myself and then questions that would help resolve some of the answers. And then I was prompted to look up a few scriptures. Actually I started in the Topical Guide looking up "Happiness". I couldn't believe how much the Spirit was teaching me from just a few little scriptures. I loved it. I wrote down everything that I could. It was really incredible how much better I felt when I was done. Not even a whole hour later. Looking back I realize that it was the Spirit prompting me to bring the notebook, the scriptures, and then giving me the lesson that I received. It almost felt like some kind of therapy or something. It fascinates me now to think about it and makes me happy that I was able to receive the prompting and then follow it. Since this experience I have been following this same model for all of my personal scripture studies, and it's been really incredible. It's completely changed the way I deal with my problems and how I control my mood. I really do just love it. It's been the perfect way for me to study right now. And I'm sure bouncing around from scripture to scripture might not work for most people, but it's been just what my racing around brain needs. I feel like I'm able to focus better. And the last few times I've just opened my scriptures up to a topic, and gone with it. It's kind of funny the ones that have come up- Humble, Meek, Strong (which happens to refer mostly to first being humble)- kinda makes me laugh how obvious it is that I need to be more Humble and all the things that go with it. I love it when I feel like I am getting exactly what the Lord wants me to get. Maybe that's why I like Priesthood Blessings so much (while it may be the "lazy" way to receive inspiration), it's straight from the Lord and in such a simple form for me. It's been a long time coming, and while I don't feel like I'm 100% yet, I do feel like I'm starting to come out of this cloud. It's very encouraging. I feel like Heavenly Father is leading me out of it.
- Wednesday, 8-17-10 we went to Taffy Town. It's completely changed. The kids had a blast picking out their favorite flavors, but it's just store now, nothing to call a field trip about it. I was disappointed, and annoyed with how much they charge now too. Just recording it so that I don't forget how lame it is to go there now. Miss the good ol' days when it was a fun place.
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